Balance, balance, my foot. I have read many articles about women in high positions who are always professing to have found the proper balance between their demanding careers, running a family (with all their dynamics), running successful businesses and still having time for an odd day out with the girls. Purporting to giving equal and unbiased amount of time and dedication to all. Stuff that.

Then of course there are the few honest ones who confess to being human, who confess to being unable to carry all the load and execute effeciently in all fields and therefore have made a choice to maybe quit their jobs and focus on the family or business, or focus on their jobs and only pay attention to the family life at weekends.I say each to his own. Whether the focus is mainly on a career, a family or business, it doesn’t matter, bottomlne is that we women juggle too much at once, but we cannot fool ourselves into thinking we will master all, there’s only so much a person can do……properly and wholeheartedly without losing their marbles.

Gone mad

I feel I’m at the end of my rope as I write this.Work has its demands,more so now than ever,the shoe business is growing steadily and I’m faced with seeing to it that it thrives and grows in leaps and bounds, then there’s the family front.

I love my family.I love my boys.I love taking care of them in all manners womanly possible. But despite the fact that I have enlisted the services of a full time helper,to help with the general aspects of the household and my teletubby (aka son) during the day, I still find myself at my wits end.

I know what would make me happy. Calling it quits in the corporate world,Waking up at whatever hour to play with my son for at least 30 minutes as is always the case on weekends. From there i can sashay into the kitchen for a steamy and strong, cuppa where afterwards I can sit in front of the computer to check my emails. Take a leisurely bath,sit some more on the computer to strategise and do anything and everything business related,head out to the shop for a few hours. Come back home in time to prepare dinner for the family and some more playtime with my angel (until such time when he doesn’t find playing with mummy to be such a cool idea).

For now,that is just but a dream. One, my marriage,family and business are all still in their infancy and I cannot risk losing the comforts afforded by that job security aspect.Two, I first need to see the business grow to comfortable levels before I take the plunge, although someone may argue that the business wold most likely grow significantly with all my energy focused on it, rather than when split between it and work.

With hubby and I hoping and praying on a little sister for the teletubby in not too long a future. I shudder at the thought of my pendulum being thrown completely off course, by the addition to the family, whenever that may be.What with me not fully coping as it is?But like many other challenges I have faced in life, this too i shall conquer and that dream of mine will become a reality.

In my native language (Southern Sesotho )there is a sayings that, “Tlou ha e hloloe ke moroalo”‘ the closest English euphimism to explain that being, “getting a raw deal but playing your hand anyway.